Monthly Archives: June 2016

Apple Inc. may currently stand among the most powerful tech moguls of Silicon Valley, but that they’re not the only big dog on block. Plenty their competitors have been barking up the right trees for years and they rightly have a bone to pick with Steve Jobs’ brainchild.

apple3Nothing is a clearer indicator of Apple’s vulnerable status at the precipice of failure than the company’s decision to put out a second generation of the operating system run on Apple Watch. The Apple Watch ranks among the dumbest accessories ever made for health-conscious 30-year-olds, on par with the little harnesses on your arm that make it possible to run with an iPod. Some industry analysts have alleged that Steve Jobs may be haunting Tim Cook, perhaps forcing him to move forward with an idea stolen from Star Trek.

The Apple Watch is useless for a variety of reasons. The first and perhaps most important reason is that it cannot be used without the help of a better device that does all of the same things but on a larger and more accessible screen. The Apple Watch also is made to be worn on a part of your body that gets wet every time you wash your hands, a “big no-no for computers” as described by industry expert Jackie Robinson. Finally, the Apple Watch pretends like you can send texts on it but it’s basically a beeper and can only be written on or used with a stylus, which has the sex appeal of wearing transition glasses, even in tech circles. The end product is an overly small computer that shames all of the previous personal computers that came before it. 

Industry futurist Jake Guarino has suggested that Apple may be creating more wearable tech for only people with Eagle eyes to read off of:

apple4“I wouldn’t be surprised to see a patent filed for an Apple ring, or perhaps even an Apple naval stud that can also act as a flashlight,” offered Guarino over a cup of yerba matte. “Whether the naval stud will have a flashlight app is up for debate.”

Apple also recently embarrassed itself when CEO Tim Cook publically refused to cooperate with the federal government, seeming to play the hero by taking a firm stance regarding his clients’ privacy. Unfortunately for Cook, the government simply side stepped his efforts to secure Apple encryption and proved that it could hack into iPhones whenever it wanted. Cook’s argument was boiled down to an effort to sanctify his brand at the end of the day, and no one cares about what was once an uproar.

Apple recently suffered its first down quarter since 2001 and has been the loser of a variety of patent cases in China in the past year or so. It’s unlikely that Apple will be able to sell its iPhone 6 or iPhone 6S models in Beijing now that a recent ruling has been made regarding the phone’s illegal similarity to an existing company’s product. Will there be a downfall for this tech king, and if so when? Who’s to know, but much will likely become clear when the tech bubble bursts.